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Friday, February 22, 2008

I Have a Bad Feeling About This....(Part 1)

(Edit: This started as a top ten list, but then I realized I don't have time to make this a top ten list, so it will have to become a revisited feature)
I was thinking yesterday about all the strange situations I get myself into. These thoughts probably stemmed from the fact that we have another baby on the way, and I am still wondering what God was doing trusting me with the first one. These weird situations are the ones where I have that moment of clarity and the weight of the situation sinks in, and I say to myself "what have I gotten myself into?" Some of them are good situations, and some of them are not so good, but looking back many of them are funny. I decided to make a list of my favorite "how did I get myself into this" situations.
The first three in no particular order:
1. Stepping out of the airport in Halifax, Nova Scotia on my way to the mission home, fresh out of the missionary training center. We had flown all day long and got into Halifax around 9 or 10 at night. As we stepped out of the airport an Icy blast of arctic air hurled itself at us. My standard issue trench coat whipped up, and flapped around me. The air was almost instantly sucked from my lungs and it was at this moment I realized I had arrived, and was going to be here for 2 years.

2. The next one is a result of my own stupidity. My friends and I spent quite a bit of time skateboarding during my youth, and during one fine fall day we decided to jump the fence to the drained pool at Jordan park in Salt Lake to skate. After being there for awhile, we noticed a police car drive by. Then we noticed the police car notice us, and we decided to make a run for it. I tossed my board over the fence and scrambled over it faster than I would have thought possible. Then we went running across the grass. Out of nowhere the strangest thing happened, the cop started driving across the grass. In that moment, my first thought was "hey he can't drive on the grass" and my second thought was "aw crap, I'm not getting away with this" luckily the cop was cool, he only called our parents. I got grounded, but they didn't file trespassing charges. I learned two lessons from this experience; Don't trespass, and irony is very cruel. Several years later that same pool was plowed up and turned into a skate park (shakes fist in air).

3. Number three isn't bad or good, but it sure was boring. My friend, who will remain nameless (but he knows who he is), liked this girl(this is never a good way to start thing out). She invited him to a "candle" party. He proceeded to ask me if I wanted to go. At first I wondered "what the heck is a candle party?". When it was explained "It is like a Tupperware party but with candles." my answer was easy. Of course I didn't want to go!! What guy in his right mind would want to go to a candle party? He begged and I relented. I figured I would take one for the team, and that I would be karmically reimbursed somehow(or maybe this was somehow repayment for bad stuff I had done). I was assured repeatedly that it wouldn't be that lame, I was also told that we wouldn't be the only guys there (it is always better to suffer together). How wrong I was. I should have followed my first instinct, and run for the hills.

We got there, and at first there were some other guys there, but they left about 3 seconds later. It was then I realized this was not going to be fun at all. Now to be completely honest I don't remember much of the rest of the evening except for the fact it felt like it would never end. About two seconds into the sales pitch I switched my brain off. I was lucky I didn't drool on myself. Several days (OK, a couple of hours) later when it ended, I regained consciousness, and like someone trapped in a cave for days, I made my way towards the light of the exit. I haven't really told many people about this story before, it has been painful to dredge up those repressed memories. I only tell it now to serve as a warning to others, GUYS DO NOT WANT TO GO TO CANDLE PARTIES, AND IF THEY DO... THEN YOU BETTER CHECK THEIR TESTOSTERONE LEVELS! =0)


Jeff said...

I haven't been keeping up on things as well as I should but after reading this one my chest hurts from laughing but tring to keep it quite so that everyone in the office doesn't no I slacking off, Not that its any different than what they are doing. Ah, memories.

Scott said...

Ah, the culprit rears his ugly head... I am glad you find humor in the suffering you caused. =0)

Jeff said...

As I recall this is not the only time I put you in a bad spot At lest I never ask a girl to a dance that I knew you wanted to ask. Not that that could ever make up for Amy (I myself wanting to vomit at the said name, i can only imagine your revulsion I mean response). There was the group date however where I was lined up with someones cousin which has forever scared my inner soul.

Scott said...

I am glad those days are far behind me. I have never had a blind date I was happy with. For example, I took a girl out that said "she would eat anything, and only after we go to a rib place does she tells me she doesn't really eat meat!!?! Why didn't she say this when I asked her at the very beginning of the date!?